New Daddy Hormones
So there I was. Wifey and I had been meaning to make it down to see “Taken” before miniMan arrived . . . but somehow we never made it. Munchkin’s first film was Wall-E when she was 2. Why didn’t we think of it before? Newborns don’t care where they are outside of mommy’s arms; Tig’s first film is “Taken.” It’s great to see Liam Neeson doing an action film. That stern countenance of his is perfect for an emotionally indulgent romp through the avenues of righteous retribution and paternal affirmation.
So what have we learned here?
The ideal father needs to be:
A. A superspy.
B. A badass.
C. Able to dodge bullets in close quarters.
One should know:
A. How to drive safely through oncoming traffic.
B. A good friend who owns a cheap hotel in Paris.
C. The magic “enhance” button on the drugstore Kodak kiosk that takes camera-phone photos and changes their blurry, background reflections into sharp, in-focus pictures of bad guy faces
One should believe:
A. The end always justifies the means.
B. Paternal authority is the only authority.
C. It’s okay for your daughter to become a pop star in a world of drugs and hollywood orgies, but a trip to Paris is WAY over the line of advisable behavior.
Okay, okay - so I can make fun of it, but that film kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time. And, seeing as I’m a brand-new daddy whose bloodstream is inevitably surging with protect-my-family hormones I cheered as our Liam brought down the whole Parisian underground in the search for his daughter.
So I almost punched the ticket clerk on the way out when he looked at the new baby - hey, I’m only human! Blame Liam Neeson.
Filed under: Dad Stuff